Raising girls is a special kind of challenge which in my book, requires a certain mindfulness–we only need to look at all the problems girls of anxiety, body image issues and peer pressure girls seem to be drowning in today to know that. So what are the things that we, as parents, should teach our daughters? At 10 years old, she is on the cusp of so much—drama, boys, comparisons, trust, embarrassment, pressure, and other tumultuous situations that are unavoidable. It will all become very real, very soon. There is so much I want to tell her, and I will when the time is right. Here is what I need her to know:
- Why feminism is Important
Explain to her what Feminism really mean, the simplest of definition; a woman is equal to a man. She has the right to choose what she feels is best for her and have absolute right over her own body, career, money, looks, mind and everything else. How feminism improves the quality of life of not just women but also men, so when she has to stand on a ground she knows what she is talking about and what she is standing for.
- Know the difference between desire and value
When another person desires you, it does not always mean they value you. They may desire you so much you almost start to believe they value you, but these are two distinctly different things. If they value you, you will know it. If they don’t, you will know it.
Never allow someone to make you uncomfortable or pressure you.
Buy the shoes, drink the coffee, eat the chocolate, get the massage, use the good dishes, light the candle. Even if you are the only one to enjoy it, do it. There is no point in saving these things for other people or special occasions.
- Don’t worry about your waist
Be healthy, practice moderation, and explore different physical activities. Eat food that makes you feel alive and makes you want to do things that make you feel alive. Donuts aren’t capable of doing that on a regular basis. However, if you enjoy them, then treat yourself. Never deny yourself your favorite indulgence. The size of your thighs (or any other body part) is not what matters in this one life we have. What matters is how we feel when we are here and how we make others feel. Focus on that.
- It is okay to be vulnerable
If someone breaks your heart or breaks your trust and you are crushed, let it out. Don’t hold back: cry, scream, tell your trusted people everything you are feeling. If you are crushed, say it. Leave it all out there, then go. Move on. Confide in girlfriends. Talk to me. If they want to come into your life again, they will show up and YOU can decide how to proceed. Don’t be a doormat for anyone, ever.