Do you suffer from severe mood swings? Have you ever been called a “psycho”, “mental”, “bi-polar” or somebody suffering from a “personality disorder”? Some days you feel just fine, other days you do not want to get out of bed. You become sensitive, you are agitated. You want to cry, and you want to scream! Anything can trigger your thoughts and you spend sleepless nights overthinking everything that anybody has ever said to you, even if it was ages ago! Does that sound familiar? Well, let me tell you this, you are not alone!
Let’s face it! It has never been easy to be a woman. We face many challenges from childhood to old age. Be it harassment, abuse, domestic violence, the pressure to look and dress a certain way, interfering in-laws, pregnancy and postpartum, struggling to make a mark as a working or stay-at-home single, married, or divorced parent… it has never been easy for women. Add to it the special ingredient of “hormones” and it’s a perfect recipe for emotional disaster! But let’s not jump to conclusions. Nothing is lost. Everything can be fixed. There is no quick fix, but a good beginning can have long-lasting effects.
There is a set of emotional skills and mental capabilities that we adopt, consciously and unconsciously, as we grow up. These help us to manage our emotional stress. This is called Emotional Intelligence. The way we utilize our emotional intelligence to affect our internal emotional state is what determines how we react or behave.
Emotional intelligence involves four important factors: Self-awareness, Self-control, Self-motivation, and building positive relationships.
The way we view ourselves, our inner voice, our reactions, our conversations, and our readiness to reflect and learn is what determines our emotional intelligence. It is based on where and how we were raised, our past experiences and relationships, our memory and perceptions of those experiences and relationships (which could be different from reality, and could be different for two different people), our values and belief systems, and the model of behavior that we have observed or been taught. Not many people realize that it is possible to alter our emotional intelligence on demand, by conscious effort. We can train our minds to feel differently resulting in controlled reactions, meaningful conversations, and positive relationships based on mutual respect.
No matter how down you are feeling, you always have a choice to behave better even though you feel the worst. So, do not let anyone tell you “you are not good enough”. Own your feelings but train your mind to express them better so it does not affect your relationships. And if that is not enough, immediately get professional help.